Issue Three — Poetry Ultras Supplement

The Most Notorious Firm In UK Poetry invite you to come and have a knock.

We at Dirty Bristow have a complicated relationship with poetry, I give you the appropriate passage from our submission guidelines:

“We don’t really understand poetry. There’s poetry we like, Rambaud, Wordsworth, Byron, Morrissey and some others, but we’re not quite sure how it works—which means that we can’t tell if poetic works submitted to us are ‘any good’. We don’t have the training to offer feedback, so all you’ll really be able to get from us is a yay or nay. And that decision will be based purely on our prejudices and whims, so bear that in mind and don’t take it to heart.

Except for haiku. Haiku seems to be a middle class trope that when used badly does nothing but attempt to showcase “education” and a smug-zen anti-materialistic attitude. Whatever vision they’re trying for we see nothing but a slow wank into a John Lewis pestle and mortar, Jamie’s recipe for organic cock juice pesto.”

So we’ve come to an agreement that the BPU firm can take a stanley to poetry submitted for issue three and we’ll print it in a special supplement as fits their athletic aesthetic.

All work — somehow connected with the theme Break (full details here) —  email


If you’re a prose monkey, there’s still time to hit us up — go see. Illustrators, just drop us a line.


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