Issue Two — Beast

Dirty Bristow Summer Fete -42

beast (noun)

/biːst/ n [C]

formal an animal, especially a large or wild one

a wild beast

The room wasn’t fit for man or beast.

old-fashioned an unpleasant, annoying or cruel person

He was a beast to her throughout their marriage.

“He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

* Samuel Johnson Quoted in “Anecdotes of the Revd. Percival Stockdale” (1809)

With the first issue successfully launched and issues flying off our metaphorical shelves here at the fictional Bristow Compound, rumours are already brewing about the other events we have planned for the next few of months to supplement issue one.

But what of Issue two? At our summer fête we revealed the theme of the next issue to be ‘Beast’ and are now looking contributions.

Go see more details or get in touch


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Cock Art

Mr Underwood illustrated Phil Barber’s article ‘Cock Art’ from Issue One of Dirty Bristow. He did it by way of this exclusive track:

Dirty Bristow by Mr Underwood

He says:

“Reading Phil’s article made me both angry and yet somehow resigned to the outcome. My tune is meant to reflect that, through the balance of driving, relentless repetition and the increasingly gnarly synth noises. The more I read the more I wanted to punch out. Thanks Phil.

As a bonus, the sound in the middle of the tune looks like the image (below), when the spectral frequency is viewed. At the time the article had no title, so I just picked a phrase from it. You will have to imagine what ‘Cock Art’ would’ve sounded like.”

Sound wave with 'Where did you get that idea?' in

by Sam Underwood

In his guise as Glatze, Sam has both an EP out and upcoming gigs, upcoming.


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Stalls to the lot of yer

We’ve had a busy day with hammers, paint and elastic building the stalls and attractions for Saturday’s fête. We’ve built Splat the Rat, and Dirty Eric’s Dart-o-rama:

Board, cards, darts

Four darts, winner scores the best three-card brag hand…

And we had a go at Teddy Bear Bungee:

Not the most elegant, but we’ll get there. Video features Graham Bear, who has been my only friend since I was 14.


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Why, and how

Make no mistake, Dirty Bristow is a folly, a fools errand headed by a couple of chancers and dreamers with only the vaguest hope of even breaking even, let alone turning a profit. It is art, in the purest sense, as far as it exists for no other reason than its creators wanted or felt compelled to create it. It is one of the things I am most proud of so far in my thirty years of life, and it only says ‘cunt’ once.

It started, like all the best and the worst decisions of my life, as a series of drunk conversations in a pub. These pubs would be littered with various free magazines, some good, some bad, some terrible, all with their redeeming features. We started talking about the future of the format. Seeing as we both are involved with the Internet, I suppose the perverse notion that not everything can be made better using the Internet was attractive. Especially to a couple of contrary lefties like ourselves.

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How Dirty Bristow is made

The story of your favourite magazine, first published in the Scorcher annual 1975.

You can click to see the pics bigger or see the whole thing here.

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